The most common question women new to chastity ask is what type of device to put him in. It has to be comfortable if he is going to live with it on 24/7 and it has to be completely secure and effective if you are going to be happy with it. Unfortunately you will have to prepare yourself for some frustrating trial and error to find the right device and the right fit, because every man’s penis is different.
The chastity device probably needs to be custom fit. Generally, it is important to get him in the smallest cage his penis will fit in while soft so he cannot get an erection in the device. Sure, start with the one that is easy to put on. There’s a good chance it will come off eventually, even without trying. Go smaller, go much smaller, then go even smaller. The problem here will be erection and stimulation. Zero erection is the size you need – literally something as small as your husband’s smallest penis size ever. In no way do you need to worry about a device where the shaft is half an inch shorter than the length of his penis when completely flaccid. Often the original cage ordered turned out to be too wide or too long because of the man’s optimistic measurements or fear of being too confined. If you go with one that’s too big it will be unwieldy, add unnecessary weight and ultimately will be less suited to all-day every-day wear.
- With a small cage, it is impossible to see that a man is wearing a chastity device, unless he is wearing extremely tight trousers. Even if you can see some bulge, nobody will jump to conclusions and think that he’s wearing a chastity device.
- A snug tube will be much more comfortable. A well-fitting cage should have no space for any growth beyond his fully flaccid state; if he can still have an erection, it means the device is too big. This is especially important for night-time comfort as nocturnal erections would pull on the scrotum.
- A short cage has the benefit that the urethra always remains pressed against the opening, making it easier to urinate while standing up. Nevertheless, most men in chastity prefer sitting down as there is no risk of making a mess.
- The cage will tend to hang too low if the base ring is too wide, especially if he has a loose scrotum.
Open vs Closed design
There are open “cage” designs and closed “tube” designs. The tube design has the advantage of restricting any access to the penis and not leaving any sensitive spots available for your husband’s touch. However, it will need to be unlocked occasionally for cleaning and skincare. An open cage design on the other hand enables the wearer to wash all bits of his penis in the shower and it allows the skin to dry after bathing or sweating. For long-time chastity I would therefore recommend an open design as it can be worn indefinitely without any need to be unlocked.
|Open “Cage” design:||Closed “Tube” design:|
However, if your husband is uncircumcised he will still require frequent removal of the cage in order to clean the smegma underneath the foreskin. In addition, uncut men tend to report some comfort issues, such as the foreskin getting pinched, or messy urination. If your husband is not circumcised but you wish he was, this is a good opportunity to ask him to get it done. The surgery itself is done quickly and under local anesthesia, and it will be healed after around four weeks.
Chastity devices are available in multiple materials, including stainless steel, titanium, nylon, polycarbonate, resin, and silicone rubber. Steel and titanium are the strongest and most hygienic materials as they don’t absorb any liquids or smells. However, their downside is weight: titanium weighs four times and steel eight times as much as the non-metallic materials.
Metal detectors may spot steel (but not titanium) devices. My husband has flown multiple times with a nylon device he uses specifically for travel, without setting off any alarm at the security checks.
There are different types of locks that can be used in chastity devices.
The most common lock type is a small padlock, which makes a satisfying “click” sound when you lock him and has the further advantage that your husband can lock himself without needing the key.An integrated lock, also called magic locker or keyhole blocker is smaller and hence more discreet, however it has the disadvantage that you will need the key both for unlocking and locking (instead of just for unlocking).A new type of lock called “Click & Lock” combines the advantages of the two: it is an integrated lock that can be locked without the key.
Some chastity devices offer the option of a so-called security screw, which is a uniquely designed screw that locks the device and which only unlocks with a custom key you can’t buy anywhere else. This is another discrete and lightweight option which claims to be more secure than a normal lock that can be picked quite easily.
Bluetooth locks are another option, although not yet available with most chastity devices. The advantage is that you don’t need to carry around a key because you can simply unlock the device with your phone, or even send a one-time code to your locked partner who can then use his phone to unlock the device. The downside is that you need to make sure the battery in the lock is not running empty.
Finally, there are numbered plastic seals. These can be used in lieu of a padlock, but they can only be used once and then need to be cut open with scissors. Each one has a unique printed number on it to prevent undetected tampering. Your husband can easily take the device off but he won’t be able to keep it secret from you. These locks are useful in some situations, for example for men who have to self-lock in long-distance relationships.
|Padlock:||Integrated lock:||“Click & Lock”:|
|Security screw:||Bluetooth lock:||Plastic seals:|
While a locked chastity device cannot be completely removed from his body, he will eventually figure out how to pull out his flaccid penis and masturbate behind your back, as many women found out the hard way. Once he has discovered this, chastity is just a game for him. It is not real and he not you is in control. If you feel that chastity no longer seems to be working, maybe your husband has figured out how to secretly have fun on his own. There are four approaches to increase security by preventing undetected pull-out of the penis.
The first and best is to pierce his penis so that a bar or loop can be put through it and locked to the device. He will not be able to pull his penis out unless he wants to rip out the piercing. The usual piercings used for chastity are the Prince Albert and the frenum piercing, both of which are simple to do, quick to heal, and harmless looking. There are chastity devices with a built-in piercing rod, which means that when you take the device off for sex, the piercing is gone as well, and the tiny hole on the underside of his penis is barely noticeable as the skin closes immediately when the piercing is out. A lot of the women I talked to were reluctant initially, but not a single one of them regretted having their husband’s penis pierced. The usual comment from many women was that they were sorry they had wasted time playing around with toy chastity devices.
Additional benefits of a piercing, besides security, are increased comfort and easy urination, as it makes the penis always stay in place. Normally, the penis tends to move a bit in the cage, for example after bending over, exercising, erections, or when his scrotum is loosening and tightening. A piercing makes sure that the tip of his penis is always pressed against the end of the cage as it should, thereby supporting an active, carefree lifestyle without any need to readjust the penis once in a while. For long-term chastity play, a piercing really is the way to go.
If you nevertheless don’t want your husband to be pierced, a device with a urethra plug is the next safest option. If the urethra plug is long enough is it virtually impossible to pull the penis out of the device. And even if he managed it would be absolutely impossible to re-insert the penis without unlocking, so you would know if he masturbated. The downside of this mechanism is that it’s not as quick and easy to put on because you would need to sterilize the plug and use lots of lube up to insert it. Furthermore, there is always a risk of urinary tract infections or urethral injuries.
There are also cage inserts that discourage pull-out of the penis by making it very painful, both available as optional extras to some devices or as an essential component of the chastity device. Basically, these inserts have rough surfaces or pricks that will be very painful when the glans has to go past them in a pull-out attempt. Unfortunately, they may take some time to get used to as the insert can be uncomfortable at first. Furthermore, these inserts are not as effective for uncircumcised men.
Instead of completely preventing pull-out, some devices make it very hard to correctly re-insert the penis. These devices usually work with a small ring that is placed behind the glans before the device is locked. If the penis is pulled out, the glans ring will be left behind in the cage. Putting his penis back into the cage with the glans ring correctly in place is almost impossible without unlocking. Hence, no masturbation will remain undetected.
|Piercing:||Urethra plug:||Anti-pullout insert:||Glans ring:|
The most popular type of chastity device by far is the “ball-trap” design, like the ones shown above. While they are not able to prevent pull-out of the unpierced penis, they can’t be removed from the “trapped” testicles without unlocking, hence the name.
There is a special type of chastity device available for pierced men, which only consists of a small cage surrounding the glans. These “glans cap” devices are a very comfortable and discreet option and even allow erections (you need to decide for yourself if you want that). They also offer great security as the piercing prevents any removal of the device.
Finally, you could go for a full belt that goes around the hips and is almost completely masturbation-proof. However, I can’t imagine them to be fully suitable for 24/7 use: Can he do sports without the belt chafing? How can he wash his penis properly? What happens if he gains weight?
|Ball-trap device:||Glans cap (secured with piercing):||Full belt:|
Continue reading: Comparison Table of the most popular chastity devices 🔑
Protect your marriage by regularly trying new things and sharing new experiences with your spouse. Make a list of the favorite things you and your spouse do together, and then make a list of the fun things you'd like to try. Avoid old habits and make plans to do something fresh and different once a week.
- Intimacy. You may think of the sexual aspect of relationship when you hear the word intimacy, but this relational building block covers so much more. ...
- Commitment. ...
“Marriage is a sacred, legal, and binding union of two people to journey through adult life as partners in a personal relationship of companionship, fulfillment, and love; and for the purpose of producing offspring. Marriage is the foundation of family, and family is the fundamental unit of society.”
- Always tell the truth to each other.
- Always listen to what the other person has to say.
- Eliminate criticism from your relationship.
- Eliminate bracing for the victim position when arguments come up.
- Living in thankfulness and appreciation.
- Listen to the entire conversation.
Be attentive to the little things she loves.
According to Manly, people tend to feel very happy when their partner pays attention to the little things about them. "Most wives thrive and feel deeply loved when their husbands attend to their little preferences in life," she tells mbg.
Marriages take work, commitment, and love, but they also need respect to be truly happy and successful. A marriage based on love and respect doesn't just happen. Both spouses have to do their part. Below are some important keys to work on each day to make your marriage successful.
Safety, Faithfulness, Commitment and Reliability are 4 pillars of trust every marriage needs. If any one of these is missing, the roof starts caving in and the relationship starts to deteriorate. Marriages thrive when both partners feel safe and secure.
Love and affection are the foundations:
Women long for affection in their relationship, whether they are newly married or have spent a couple of years in their marriage. They like to know that they are valued and loved by their husbands. As an ideal husband, you need to spend some fruitful time with your wife.
Willard Harvey, in his book His Needs/Her Needs, states the five top needs of men in marriage. Those five needs are admiration, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship, sexual fulfillment and domestic support. The need that is often most neglected and that I want to focus on here is the need for admiration.
- Intentionality. Intentionality is a major component of strong marriages. ...
- Empathy. Empathy is the ability to relate to how someone else is feeling—to be able to put yourself in their shoes. ...
- Forgiveness. ...
- Integrity. ...
- Intimacy. ...
- Shared Values. ...
- Connection. ...
A commonly accepted and encompassing definition of marriage is the following: a formal union and social and legal contract between two individuals that unites their lives legally, economically, and emotionally.
Marriage is the beginning—the beginning of the family—and is a life-long commitment. It also provides an opportunity to grow in selflessness as you serve your wife and children. Marriage is more than a physical union; it is also a spiritual and emotional union. This union mirrors the one between God and His Church.
The three pillars of a relationship and specifically a marriage is: Validation, Acceptance and Respect. All three of these pillars are mutually dependent on one another and provide a solid sounding board from which we can maintain healthy, functional and successful marriage relationships.
God considers marriage to be an agreement between a husband and a wife as well as a commitment between the couple and Him. He expects us to dedicate ourselves to the relationship, and to recognize our responsibilities, duties, and loyalties both to our spouse and to God.
Galatians 5:22-24 (ESV): “ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
- Be confident, not arrogant. Women love a confident man, but arrogance is a turnoff. ...
- Don't take yourself too seriously. ...
- Follow through. ...
- Do small acts of kindness. ...
- Tease lightly. ...
- Don't cheat. ...
- Have some style. ...
- Don't ask if we're good in bed.
Affection. A man wants a woman who can be affectionate towards him and people around. Every man appreciates women who are gentle and kind. Just like women wish for somebody to hold them tight when they are feeling low, men also have high importance for the feeling of touch.
Clear communication, openness to new experiences, and respect for your partner are key if you want to build a lasting, loving relationship. 1. Make your partner a priority: Take time often to let your boyfriend or hubby know how special he is to you.
Happy couples are more present with each other and make an effort to listen and take each other's needs seriously. They make an effort to validate each other—communicating that a partner's perspective is understandable and valid, given their personal history or current circumstances.
Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is a pivotal aspect of what keeps couples together. When you set healthy boundaries and your partner respects those boundaries and vice-versa, it builds trust, respect, intimacy, and communication in the relationship.
- Connection. Most of us want to connect with others in some way. ...
- Commitment. ...
- Giving. ...
- Respect. ...
- Trust. ...
Relationship dynamics will go up and down based on communication, compromise and commitment, the 3C's.
Steve Harvey: 3 Things Every Man Needs | The Oprah Winfrey Show
Like women, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable. They want a wife who will stand by their side and, considering divorce rates, it's no surprise that dependability would continue to be attractive. Join ForbesWoman on Facebook today!
- Love your Husband Unconditionally. In nuptials, both are committed to spending their life together. ...
- Understand him and be supportive. ...
- Well communication with him. ...
- Respect your Husband. ...
- Always his Best Friend. ...
- Be a good listener.
In a healthy marriage, a couple is supported by a partner who listens, respects, shares, and practices open and honest communication. They exhibit a willingness to compromise and are open to constructive criticism. In a healthy marriage, a couple feels happy and safe with their spouse.
Do you have a happy marriage? If not, why not? Are there any Biblical marriage principles that can aid in achieving a happy and successful marriage?
While the devil wants to break apart your marriage by tempting you to give up, don’t forget that God Himself joined you together in marriage, and He desires that you stay together and be happy.. “With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).. It works!With Christ in your hearts and home, marriage will be successful.. Answer: Pray with one another!. God will answer.. Only God can make such changes.. Answer: Laziness and disorder can be used by the devil to destroy your respect and affection for one another and, thus, harm your marriage.. For success in making major decisions, (2) _____ Husband and wife should counsel together.
These marriage quotes are the only love letters you need to make your partner smile.
Love is the most magical part of being human, but there are only so many ways to express to your partner how special they are.. “A husband and wife may disagree on many things, but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up.”— Unknown. “Never marry the one you can live with, marry the one you cannot live without.”— Unknown. “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.”— Unknown. “The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person.. If you think these marriage quotes are the perfect love letter, just wait until you read the most romantic book quotes of all time.. We’re not perfect by any means, but that makes us beautiful as well.. Now that you’ve heard these marriage quotes, read all about the secrets about marriage straight from people who have been married up to 50 years.
When dealing with this subject, it helps to understand that every couple is either doing something that draws them closer together, or is causing them to drift apart.
As we grow in our careers, families and life passions, it becomes easy to afford them a lot of attention — often to the detriment of our spouses.. Identifying whatever it is that’s causing the drift without making your spouse feel guilty about it, is key.. Whether you win, lose or merely survive a challenge in your life, if you do so without the love, care and support of your spouse, it will loosen the bond you share.. In the beginning of a relationship, couples share their fears, hopes, dreams, and feelings.. When you’re not sharing your feelings, they can turn to resentments and foster feelings of loneliness and distance.. A healthy marriage involves building a life together where dreams are not only visualised but come to fruition with the mutual buy-in of the partners.. Any relationship can start to feel less exciting over time as the realities of maintaining a lasting partnership and the grind of day-to-day life take precedence over keeping the passion alive.. Even after your relationship settles into a pattern, it’s essential to maintain a sense of fun in order to have a healthy marriage.
"At first, I thought divorce was our only option. 'Once a cheater, always a cheater' looped in my head, along with the imagined porno film of what my husband had done."
But in September, when a stranger reached out proffering a photo album of incriminating screenshots ― a Tinder profile showcasing my husband’s smiling face, in which he claimed he was “slightly married,” a series of graphic sexual text messages, and time logs of hourlong phone conversations ― I realized that these earlier claims weren’t exaggerated or relegated to a sensitive few.. I suddenly found myself careening through a type of grief, as if the person I thought my husband was had died.. But extensive therapy and time with thoughtful, open-minded friends (some of whom possess decidedly unorthodox relationship arrangements) slowly nudged me out of my misery.. My husband and I had talked about opening up our relationship nearly a decade ago, before we got married.. I understood intellectually that ethical non-monogamy could perhaps be a truer expression of love than traditional monogamy, but emotionally I was still bound to the traditions into which I was raised.. My husband told me he needed to be non-monogamous to feel whole.. If we couldn’t tackle our personal demons through therapy and introspection, we couldn’t hope to bring additional people into our relationship in a healthy way.. We agreed at the outset that we would remain each other’s primary partner, and though we would still be capable of developing deep, meaningful connections with other partners, the main purpose of opening things up would be for friendship and sex.. “I understood intellectually that ethical non-monogamy could perhaps be a truer expression of love than traditional monogamy, but emotionally I was still bound to the traditions into which I was raised.. My husband began individual therapy in order to process the resentments and emotional regulation issues that had driven him to cheat in the first place.. I feel those barriers falling away between my husband and myself too.. Four months ago, I never would have imagined that I could feel truly happy when my husband had a nice date with another woman, just as he now has the capacity to feel happy for me when I enjoy time with other men.. We talk frankly about our experiences, about what worked and what didn’t, and though at times there’s still jealousy, we have an emotional toolkit to work through it healthfully.
Introduction to Male Chastity
Initially, you need to find a comfortable, safe, and hygienic chastity device which your husband can wear for extended periods.. Most men will hold out for shorter periods of denial and bounce back to their old ways of masturbation and fantasizing about other women once you let them orgasm and they expect future orgasms on a regular basis, whereas a long initial lock up tells him that you are committed to your relationship and that once he hands you the keys there is no turning back.. If your husband initially backs down from his wish to be put in chastity when faced with such a long lock up, he is not yet willing to surrender the control to you.. One of the wives I talked to made her husband go down on her almost every day during the initial chastity period when they could not have normal intercourse.. Some women like to set goals for their husbands where they would be allowed an orgasm earlier than scheduled if a big goal was met.. She told him that their relationship was so much better with him locked in his chastity device that he would now get out only once a year for a release, but she would let him out early one time during the year for each five pounds that he lost and that for each five pounds he gained he would get three months added on to his lockup.. The first few times he earns his right to get out of chastity, accept it, but at some point, tell him you’ve changed your mind: this time he won’t be released.
Are you looking for funny marriage quotes? Here we have gathered 150 best and funniest marriage quotes for you! Incorporate them in your wedding too!
“I love being married.. “All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” — Red Skelton. “I love being married.. “Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him.. “You can’t buy love on eBay.” — Anonymous. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years.. “All you need is love.. “They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution.. “My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.. “For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom.. “A man in love is not complete until he is married.. “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” — Anonymous. “The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.” — Groucho Marx. “Marriage is a workshop….. Where husband works and wife shops.” — Anonymous
Readings and reflections from the Old Testament. More →
The Lord God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone.. Then Isaac took Rebekah into his tent;. he married her, and thus she became his wife.. When Sarah dies, Abraham looks to give Isaac a wife.. A reading from the Book of Tobit 7:6-14. He took her by the hand and gave her to Tobiah with the words:. “Take her according to the law.. Like the previous scripture option from Genesis 24, their happy marriage and newfound life is a biblical way of revealing that marriage is a participation in God’s divine plan.. A reading from the Book of Tobit 8:4b-8. Blessed the husband of a good wife,. twice-lengthened are his days;. A worthy wife brings joy to her husband,. peaceful and full is his life.. In this passage, Jeremiah speaks about a new covenant that will be given by God, “I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” The staggering difference in this second covenant is the absence of one little word, “if.” By omitting the word “if” God is making this covenant unconditionally.
Romantic quotes help you reveal your innermost feelings to your spouse. Here are some extraordinary anniversary quotes for husband that would help you through it.
To breeze through more anniversary quotes for husband, read out these anniversary greetings for husband for sheer romantic couples:. For such a man, these are the most suitable amongst anniversary message for husband and happy anniversary quotes for husband.. Happy 1st anniversary of our marriage , love, and family together.. Happy first wedding anniversary my love.. Happy Wedding Anniversary love.. Happy Wedding Anniversary, love.. Happy Wedding Anniversary, love.. Happy anniversary my love.. Happy anniversary, my love.. I love you so much, Happy Anniversary!. Happy anniversary, my husband.. Happy anniversary husband!. Happy Anniversary to my husband!. I love you my dear husband, happy anniversary!. This anniversary, touch his heart with these love anniversary quotes for husband and make the day memorable.